Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Lasting Impressions

She's just a girl, she's nothing special. 
Just a girl searching for someone to love and to be loved in return. 
Someone to keep her safe on the nights when she's scared to be alone.
Someone to be there for her through the good times and the bad. 
To laugh when she does and to hold her when she cries.
Someone to be the sun that makes her rainy days brighter.
Someone to make her smile even when she feels she can't.
To be the one that she can tell anything to and trust.
Someone to be there to tell her everything is okay when she feels she cant go on.
Someone to catch her when she falls.
To stay with her no matter what.
Someone to kiss her and hold her hand.
Someone to spend the rest of her life with.
To be her everything and her purpose for life its self.
Someone to wake up next to.
Someone to see the world with.
To be the one she'll never let go of.
Someone to help her see the bad days aren't as bad as they seem.
Someone to be the light at the end of the tunnel.
To be the one she always runs back to.
Someone to share the memories with.
Someone to call hers.
To be the one she'll never forget.
Everyone is searching for their someone.
Their Prince Charming.
Their Savior.
And their reason to be happy.
And i found all of this in you.
I Love You!

-CherylLee

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Don't leave me alone, I can't stand the way the world feels when i'm walking alone

I love you i just cant help it,
Even after everything we've been through,
You dont mean any less to me,
You're my life.

We know nearly everything about each other,
And even though its only been 2 months,
It feels like iv known you for a life time already,
You saved me. Remember that.

I'm just the ground that you happened to fall on,
When you lost your balance, walking around in the rain.
You got to your feet, scratched your head,
and started together the life that you trust all around me.
- Lullaby by Armor for Sleep

Friday, February 20, 2009

Sometimes love is childish in that I cry when I need you and Sometimes love is selfish in that I'll never let you go...

Wow i wish i knew what to say but for once im speechless... iv got so many things i want to tell people but i just cant seem to find the words. its like iv got this barrier around me like an invisible bubble and every time i try to open up the words just dont want to escape my lips or maybe its the invisible bubble that stopping the people on the outside hear what im saying... ill figure out how to escape myself one day but until then you'll have to make do with me rambling about what i get up to and i guess i should start by telling you whats happened in the past two months...

1. im back at college after the holidays obviously and im doing really well. i guess ignoring the world has done some good. im getting really good grades in all my classes and apparently im a genius when it comes to photography. i got the highest grade possible in that class and im so happy because its the best subject and its totally worth putting in the extra hours for. i find it easier to express myself through a photo then telling people straight how i feel. i definitely think photography is my passion. i love it. i just hope i get the future in it i want.... fingers crossed!

2. my home hasn't exactly been the happiest place to be at the moment. its like living in a war zone. its very rare that ill have a day where there's not shouting or fighting going on and normally im the one stuck in the middle. oh the joy of being an only child. anyway enough of that. ill talk about that another time...

3. im hating my work with a passion at the moment, i cant stand being there. its not the people its just the place. i hate it. its so boring and i just generally think its time for a change, i mean iv been there for four years already and i cant handle it anymore.... it drives me crazy! i wish i could get away with not working but like thats going to be possible i need to get money so i can afford things from somewhere. the one thing i really dont like about it is going into work on a sunday with a hangover and having to put up with a load of screaming kids, i mean i know its my own fault but its still horrible and dont get me wrong i love kids... just not so much when im hungover!

okay so i thought id leave the big thing till last because im probably going to ramble on about it for a while so....

4. i fell in love... thats right im completely head over heels in love and i have a feeling he doesn't realise just how much i love him. i guess it's safe to say that its been a bit of a roller coaster ride for us, we've had some bad days but we've also had some amazing days. every day is like a new adventure for us and the only thing i worry about is which direction a new adventure will take us each day but whether it be good or it be bad ill always love the time i spend with him, he understands me and he's helped me realise a few thing about myself. he's an amazing person and i wish there were a few more people in the world like him just so a few more people could understand how i feel when im around him and he makes me a better person each day i spend with him. iv never felt so loved by anyone before and i never even thought it was possible for me to love someone this much. he's gorgeous and funny. he's has the ability to make me smile no matter what kind of mood im in and he puts up with me moaning about things... he's my everything and i cant help but fallen even more in love with him each day if thats even possible. he's like an angel thats been sent to look after me and make sure that i dont get hurt. there's no way i could live without him... i love him with every inch of my body and nothing can or will ever change that.

baby i love you so much and i know we've had some rough times but i promise we'll get through all this together... dont ever think that you cant talk to me. im here for you just like you've been here for me. you're amazing never forget that. i love you <3

"The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree, but to hold hands"

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I dont know whats right and whats real anymore, I dont know how Im meant to feel anymore!

It's like these four walls have become my prison cell, i spend every waking minute just staring at them but im afraid that if i leave this room im not going to like what i see on the outside. iv fallen into a routine of sitting on my bed every day just staring out my window watching the world go by, sometimes it helps and rarely ill find myself smiling as i watch people go on with their lives and sometimes i wish i could be apart of it. i wish i could over come the fear of leaving my four walls behind and move on but there's always something that pulls me back, its like iv got robe attached to me and every time i feel like im getting away and finally im escaping it drags me back in and the cycle starts all over again. I've become immune to the constant blotchy cheeks and watery eyes like it doesn't even happen anymore. i've given up on trying to fight against my emotions and im sick of constant telling people im okay, even the fake smile iv been wearing for so long is finally wearing off. the world is a big place but yet i still feel so trapped. is there any escape? i used to think that my room was my only escape from the world, i felt safe here but instead this room has become my own little ticking bomb and im waiting for the day when my time is up. There will be a big explosion and ill be put on show for everyone to see exactly what sort of person i really am, im not the happy hyper person every seems to think i am, i dont like that people know barely anything about me and the day that this happens will be the scariest day of my life. i've become a pro at bottling up what im think and how im feeling and when im eventually forced to tell the world whats going on in my head ill end up running, ill find a new place to hide and ill go back to being trapped inside my head. one day ill walk away and laugh as i look back on the place i hate the most. my head. ill find my escape one day, whether it be on my own or with help. i can see the light so why cant i leave....