Sometimes love is childish in that I cry when I need you and Sometimes love is selfish in that I'll never let you go...

Wow i wish i knew what to say but for once im speechless... iv got so many things i want to tell people but i just cant seem to find the words. its like iv got this barrier around me like an invisible bubble and every time i try to open up the words just dont want to escape my lips or maybe its the invisible bubble that stopping the people on the outside hear what im saying... ill figure out how to escape myself one day but until then you'll have to make do with me rambling about what i get up to and i guess i should start by telling you whats happened in the past two months...

1. im back at college after the holidays obviously and im doing really well. i guess ignoring the world has done some good. im getting really good grades in all my classes and apparently im a genius when it comes to photography. i got the highest grade possible in that class and im so happy because its the best subject and its totally worth putting in the extra hours for. i find it easier to express myself through a photo then telling people straight how i feel. i definitely think photography is my passion. i love it. i just hope i get the future in it i want.... fingers crossed!

2. my home hasn't exactly been the happiest place to be at the moment. its like living in a war zone. its very rare that ill have a day where there's not shouting or fighting going on and normally im the one stuck in the middle. oh the joy of being an only child. anyway enough of that. ill talk about that another time...

3. im hating my work with a passion at the moment, i cant stand being there. its not the people its just the place. i hate it. its so boring and i just generally think its time for a change, i mean iv been there for four years already and i cant handle it anymore.... it drives me crazy! i wish i could get away with not working but like thats going to be possible i need to get money so i can afford things from somewhere. the one thing i really dont like about it is going into work on a sunday with a hangover and having to put up with a load of screaming kids, i mean i know its my own fault but its still horrible and dont get me wrong i love kids... just not so much when im hungover!

okay so i thought id leave the big thing till last because im probably going to ramble on about it for a while so....

4. i fell in love... thats right im completely head over heels in love and i have a feeling he doesn't realise just how much i love him. i guess it's safe to say that its been a bit of a roller coaster ride for us, we've had some bad days but we've also had some amazing days. every day is like a new adventure for us and the only thing i worry about is which direction a new adventure will take us each day but whether it be good or it be bad ill always love the time i spend with him, he understands me and he's helped me realise a few thing about myself. he's an amazing person and i wish there were a few more people in the world like him just so a few more people could understand how i feel when im around him and he makes me a better person each day i spend with him. iv never felt so loved by anyone before and i never even thought it was possible for me to love someone this much. he's gorgeous and funny. he's has the ability to make me smile no matter what kind of mood im in and he puts up with me moaning about things... he's my everything and i cant help but fallen even more in love with him each day if thats even possible. he's like an angel thats been sent to look after me and make sure that i dont get hurt. there's no way i could live without him... i love him with every inch of my body and nothing can or will ever change that.

baby i love you so much and i know we've had some rough times but i promise we'll get through all this together... dont ever think that you cant talk to me. im here for you just like you've been here for me. you're amazing never forget that. i love you <3

"The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree, but to hold hands"