hi guys
well i was thinking of ways to keep everyone updated on how i feel each day and i wanted it to be slightly different from just blabbing on about how miserable i am or how happy i am... so i came up with an idea of using music to express how i feel, its probably the easist way for me to do it as i find it quite hard to get my emotions out on to paper or.... my blog!

i thought each day i would put up a new set of lyrics and maybe a link to the song or something and then underline the lyrics that mean something to me that day. I thought it would be quite easy for all you lot to understand as well and if you're into music like me you should find incredibly easy to see where im coming from or how im feeling... i mean obviously there will be certain days where a song is aim at something or someone no else knows about but im pretty sure it'll be obvious its about someone i love a hell of a lot and they definitely know who they are...

ill probably start doing this either tonight or tomorrow so for right now all i can tell you is that im at a complete loss... its been nearly 24 hrs since i spoke to my boyfriend and i feel like a part of me is missing, i cant even think straight. its crazy how hard it is to not talk to him... lets just say for the next few days im probably going to need someone to cheer me up and take my mind off a few things.. oh and im also going to the doctors in about 45 minutes and im absolutely terrified! i hate the doctors especially when you have absolutely no idea whats wrong with you... i guess im just scared even though i know its probably nothing serious im still petrified.. i mean its the DOCTOR!!! whos not scared if him....?

anyway enough of this blabbing ill update you all later on how things go and give you some lyrics of how im feeling..... damn i better start thinking of a song now... hmmm

anywho bye for now!
-vivalachezzybear <3

A Million Miles Away

i dont know where to look or where to turn

im not even in control of my own life anymore

im looking at the world through someone else's eyes and im not sure if i like it

i cant seem to find my way home

i can hear it calling but every day its getting a little harder to hear

im scared and alone

its like the darkness that surrounds me is slowly getting closer to suffocating me

and i cant make up my mind if i like that thought or not

im still searching for my escape

and each day im praying more and more that i find it soon

sometimes i wish i could just grow wings and fly away

fly away from everything so i never have to deal with anything again

i cant go on much longer like this, being pushed around and forced to make decisions i wish i didn't have to make

i constantly feel guilty for the way i treat the people around me and it still amazes me there all still here for me

i need to find the end. when will it stop?

"Together forever, never apart. Maybe in distance but never at heart." <3